In news that is likely to cause many people to recoil in disgust, Amouranth is selling her own farts.
Amouranth is selling her farts. In jars. Yes, you read that correctly. Again: Amouranth is selling her farts in jars. Now, you're next question will clearly be: "Hey, what the fork? And people are buying them?" And regrettably - for the sake of humanity - the answer to that second question is a very loud, resounding "Yes, they forking are." That's it, folks, we're all doomed.
[UPDATE: March 25, 2022]
Did Ludwig Like Amouranth's Fart Jars?
On an episode of Ludwig's podcast 'The Yard', this particular gentlemen took a good long sniff, and unsurprisingly it was bloody disgusting. Why a grown man would smell a grown woman's farts is beyond me, but hey, we live in a sexually free society (and it was clearly for the meme), so no judgement here.
Shortly before takin' the sniff, Ludwig said the following:
I think that if we open a jar and it smells bad, she did not actually fart in them. If we open the jar and it smells like nothing then she definitely did.
Then, of course, he gagged like a raging lunatic and asked "How does her a$$ smell like that?". Well, Ludwig, it's a fart. What did you expect? Podcast co-host, Nick Falco, then went on to mutter "Dude... I believe her now." You would hope she was telling the truth seeing as that she was selling those farts for $999 USD. Anyway, here's the clip if you're interested...
[ORIGINAL ARTICLE: March 3, 2022]
Indeed, the very fact that you're reading this is a little questionable. I mean, there's a lot going on in the world at the moment, but yes, we did want to let you know that this millionaire OnlyFans model is now selling bottled farts, and they're doing well. Wonder what's next on her agenda? Oof, to be honest I don't even want to think about it.
What do you think she'll do with the proceedings, by the way? Let's be real, it'll probably be a nice big house, maybe a Yacht? Well she is already making literally thousands of dollars from selling her bathwater. This kind of thing really does represent the worst in humanity, doesn't it? I mean, it is truly an indictment on our society that many can work hard their whole life for barely a penny, yet people like this can make millions from degrading themselves online. Oh, and I do mean millions.
What is Amouranth's "Cutie Pa-TOOT-ies"?
"Cutie Pa-TOOT-ies" is Amouranth's latest business venture, an online fart and bathwater store. It's probably doing really well too, and if you feel so inclined then you can participate in this incredibly revolting "thing" yourself via the tweet below. I mean, yet again, really?
It's almost like Amouranth is dying to draw the ire of anyone with even a basic level of self-respect. It's alright, lady, this article is serving as promotional material for you anyway, so there's little to really complain about. Could we perhaps request that at least a little bit of the money goes to a good cause? You know, like helping out people who are currently living in an active forking war zone?
I STARTED A NEW BUSINESS! HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO SMELL YOUR FAVORITE STREAMER OR OWN THEIR HOT TUB WATER (In physical form, not an NFT)? SAY LESS: https://t.co/usUTSwlbYISUPPLIES SUPER LIMITED pic.twitter.com/HRWbqU7ilH
— Amouranth (@Amouranth) February 28, 2022
Well, I doubt that any of it will and that will be a huge shame. After all, this is the same star who made $200,000 USD from just one OnlyFans video. Pretty nuts, isn't it? People like this could honestly do a lot of good for the world, taking some money from - as Belle Delphine defined - those "thirsty gamer boys" and giving it to people who need it.
I mean, the forking Fart Jar costs $999.99. It's clearly a troll, but it's also legitimately available for sale, and you can pick it up if you are also willing to spend one thousand bucks on a forking jar. I mean, yet again, seriously? The world is doomed, ladies and gentlemen, we may as well give up now.
